College & University Information

College Residence Life Staff: Speak to Gain Respect


When you speak, do residents listen or ignore you? If you're having trouble commanding respect, it could be the way you're saying it. Here is a list of words that can sabotage your effectiveness as a communicator. See if you recognize any of these red flags in your speech:

Should, Have to: These come across as condescending. Instead of telling people what they should do, offer suggestions. Then let them decide.

Always, Never, Everyone, Nobody: These words rarely paint an accurate picture and come across as over-dramatizing. You'll lose credibility. Instead, use words such as "sometimes," "occasionally," or "some people."

But: This negates everything that comes before it and can make you sound like you're talking out of both sides of your mouth. Replace it with "and."

Try: This is one big escape clause and makes others question your commitment. Don't try, just do it.

You: Starting sentences like this comes across as attacking and blaming. Instead, be accountable by starting with "I."

Okay: Tagging this word onto the end of sentences makes it sound like you're asking permission: "I'm upset right now, okay?" Lose it, or people won't take you seriously.

These changes may seem small and subtle, but you'll be surprised what an impact they can have on how people respond to you. You may also start to notice that when you react negatively to someone, it's because he or she has used some of these phrases.

Susan Fee is a licensed counselor and author of the college survival guide, "My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! Solve Conflicts, Set Boundaries, and Survive the College Roommate From Hell" (Adams Media). She offers my college survival tips on her Web site, http://www.myroommateisdrivingmecrazy.com


MORE RESOURCES:

Area college, university officials bracing for cuts
Joplin Globe, MO - 3 hours ago
By Melissa Dunson Area colleges are tightening their belts to brace for projected state budget cuts over the next two years. Bruce Speck, Missouri Southern ...


Canisius routs Howard 70-46
The Associated Press - 3 hours ago
WASHINGTON (AP) — Greg Logins had 22 points and 14 rebounds to lead Canisius College to a 70-46 victory over Howard University on Monday night. ...


Florida AG McCollum to keynote Stetson law commencement
Bizjournals.com, NC - 14 hours ago
The Florida attorney general will deliver the commencement address to 87 graduates address the Stetson University College of Law this month. ...


Hamline University Newsroom

Piper men fall to Eagles on the road
Hamline University Newsroom, MN - 1 hour ago
Despite a trio of Pipers in double-digit scoring, the Hamline University men's basketball team fell to the host Northwestern College Eagles in ...


Exploring the evil in our midst
guardian.co.uk, UK - 6 hours ago
Some men and women love to study the men (and the women) who see women as evil. Many of these misogyny scholars will gather in Budapest, Hungary, ...


Tennessee's heir apparent deserves fair shake
Memphis Commercial Appeal, TN - 23 hours ago
By Geoff Calkins (Contact), Memphis Commercial Appeal Head football coach at the University of Tennessee at the age of 33? Is that some kind of joke or what ...


Gas drilling hearing Tuesday at SUCO
Oneonta Daily Star, NY - 9 hours ago
One of the two remaining public hearings on environmental issues associated with natural gas drilling will be at 5:15 pm Tuesday at the State University ...


Free Webinar Dec. 3rd for College/University Administrators Will ...
MarketWatch - Nov 20, 2008
NEEDHAM, Mass., Nov 20, 2008 /PRNewswire via COMTEX/ -- NEEDHAM, Mass., Nov. 20 /PRNewswire/ -- A free webinar, aimed at assisting college and university ...


Republic or democracy – who rules?
Abilene Reporter-News, TX - 10 minutes ago
By Doug "Ask Doug" Williamson (Contact) I checked with Dr. Paul Fabrizio over at McMurry University to get the right answer. He told me in the simplest ...


Diet May Regulate Obesity Health Risks, But Genes Decide, Says New ...
Science Daily (press release) - 8 hours ago
ScienceDaily (Dec. 1, 2008) — The risk of obese people developing the metabolic syndrome that leads to diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease, ...

College-University - Google News

home | site map
© 2006