| |
| |
|
Coaching Information |
|
|
|
Build Your People Skills
How would you like to get along even better with others in your personal relationships and in the workplace? Getting along well with people sounds kind of general and is difficult to do much about, so let's break it down into some manageable and specific skills. By building the following skills, you will get along well with others: 1. Build others' self-esteem. 2. Show empathy for others. 3. Encourage people to cooperate with each other. 4. Communicate assertively. 5. Ask productive questions and demonstrate listening skills. 6. Respond productively to emotional statements. People skills (which are also known as emotional intelligence) can be thought of as six specific skills. Let's take a brief look at each one. 1. Build others' self-esteem. When you are in a situation where you are made to feel good about yourself, you feel good. You can do the same with others by doing the following kinds of things: a. Make eye contact with others. b. Call others by their names. c. Ask others their opinions. d. Compliment others' work. e. Tell people how much you appreciate them. f. Write notes of thanks when someone does something worthwhile. g. Make people feel welcome when they come to your home or workplace. h. Pay attention to what is going on in people's lives. Acknowledge milestones and express concern about difficult life situations such as illness, deaths, and accidents. i. Introduce your family members to acquaintances when you meet them in public. j. Encourage your loved ones to explore their talents and interests. k. Share people's excitement when they accomplish something. l. Honor people's needs and wants. m. Take responsibility for your choices and actions, and expect others to do the same. n. Take responsibility for the quality of your communications. 2. Show empathy for others. Empathy means recognizing emotions in others. It is the capacity to put yourself in another person's shoes and understand how they view their reality and how they feel about things. Being aware of our emotions and how they affect our actions is a fundamental ability in today's people-intense workplaces. People who are cut off from their emotions are unable to connect with people. It's like they are emotionally tone-deaf. No one wants to work with such people because they have no idea how they affect others. You have probably met a few people who fit this description. 3. Encourage people to cooperate with each other. Whether you are managing a family or a work group, there are some specific things you can do to create an environment where others work together well: a. Don't play favorites. Treat everyone the same. Otherwise, some people will not trust you. b. Don't talk about people behind their backs. c. Ask for others' ideas. Participation increases commitment. d. Follow up on suggestions, requests, and comments, even if you are unable to carry out a request. e. Check for understanding when you make a statement or announcement. Don't assume everyone is with you. f. Make sure people have clear instructions for tasks to be completed. Ask people to describe what they plan to do. g. Reinforce cooperative behavior. Don't take it for granted. 4. Communicate assertively. Assertive communication is a constructive way of expressing feelings and opinions. People are not born assertive; their behavior is a combination of learned skills. Assertive behavior enables you to: a. Act in your own best interests. b. Stand up for yourself without becoming anxious. c. Express your honest feelings. d. Assert your personal rights without denying the rights of others. Assertive behavior is different from passive or aggressive behavior in that it is: a. Self-expressive b. Honest c. Direct d. Self-enhancing e. Constructive, not destructive Assertive behavior includes both what you say and how you say it. 5. Ask productive questions and demonstrate listening skills. Listening skills help you show that you are hearing and understanding another person and are interested in what he or she has to say. 6. Respond productively to emotional statements. A communication skill called active listening is especially useful in emotional situations because it enables you to demonstrate that you understand what the other person is saying and how he or she is feeling about it. Active listening means restating, in your own words, what the other person has said. It's a check of whether your understanding is correct. This demonstrates that you are listening and that you are interested and concerned. Active listening responses have two components: a. Naming the feeling that the other person is conveying b. Stating the reason for the feeling Here are some examples of active listening statements: "Sounds like you're upset about what happened at work." "You're annoyed by my lateness, aren't you?" "You sound really stumped about how to solve this problem." "It makes you angry when you find errors on Joe's paperwork." "Sounds like you're really worried about Wendy." "I get the feeling you're awfully busy right now." Actively listening is not the same as agreement. It is a way of demonstrating that you intend to hear and understand another's point of view. The ability to get along well with people in your personal relationships and in the workplace is a set of learned skills. No one is born knowing how to build others' self-esteem, show empathy, encourage cooperation, communicate assertively, ask productive questions, or respond productively to emotional statements. These skills can be learned and developed with some practice. By taking the time to develop these skills, you will be able to build better relationships at home and at work. Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.
MORE RESOURCES:
Coaching - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Your Mindset Determines Your Success in Life To keep at the top of your game you have to keep a clear head. You can't afford to fill up on news and negativity. 5 Steps to Derail Difficult People - Your Surefire Way to a Peaceful Resolution That one guy at work that always has to be right; your buddy's wife who can't eat anywhere they serve burgers, or the monster-in-law, I mean mother-in-law, with too many opinions for your own good, difficult people, we all know them. So the question is, is there a right and a wrong way to deal with them? The answer is yes, if you want to avoid unnecessary confrontations. 4 Steps to Successful Goal-Setting Successful people have always had clear, focused goals that guide them to greatness.It took Thomas Edison thousands of attempts and thousands of failures over many years to invent the electric light bulb, but he new exactly what he wanted, and his goal kept him going until he achieved it The rest, as they say, is history. Time Travel Let me quote something you wrote. "When you reach the boundary between like and love, you know you are entering a different country. Going On a Mental Diet Diets are always in style. Every time you turn around, someone is coming out with a new and improved diet. The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation Having worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, helping them learn to resolve conflict, I have often been faced with the difficulties that occur when people are confused about the difference between approval with appreciation. Have you ever wondered about the difference between approval and appreciation? Most of us have never actually thought about it, yet if we do think about it, we realize that we feel very differently when we receive approval as opposed to receiving appreciation. Burn-Out ...Whats Next? If you feel the heat of burn-out, it is possible to stop the fire before it stops you. Burn-out burns out confidence trust hope Burn-out can burn up your job your marriage your friendships There is a simple strategy for helping yourself prevent burn-out, especially if you are a person with more responsibilities than choices. Think Twice Before Youre Nice A few months back I had a disturbing dream. In my dream a woman with stringy blonde hair rang my bell. Getting Unstuck: Moving Forward To Success Ever find yourself stuck in that awful loop of inactivity? You circle around and around between wanting to move forward and then apathy? Covering the same ground and never moving forward? It could be that you are stuck in the web of your own comfort zone. It's a place we hang out at that's routine, predicable and safe. What Is A Personal Trainer Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in your life. There are so many machines and gadgets. How to Effectively Balance Your Work and Family Life What Is Your Definition of Success?If you want to create balance in your life, it is important to know how you define success. The following list is a place to start. Negotiating Difficult Life Transitions Life is a process of beginnings and endings. In both life and nature, there are times when things move slowly and don't seem to change very much. Is Coaching For You? More and more people have less and less time, but have greater demands both personally and professionally. This situation has resulted in the emergence of personal coaching within four basic areas: Financial, Physical or Fitness, Life or Career and Executive Performance. 5 Minute Morning Balance Ritual "3 Questions, 5 Minutes a Day: Make leaps towards greater balance in one single week with the Shicka Boom 5 Minute Morning Balance Ritual" By Laura Lallone, Certified Life CoachThis article is dedicated to a woman that I've never met and probably never will. Tall with dark, dark hair, she was perfectly manicured in a tailored suit with high-heeled pumps. Its Only Adult ADD-What A Relief! For most of her fifty years, Barbara was at war with herself. Keeping organized, being on time, and finishing what she started were always a struggle. The Need to Feel Special From the time Jennifer was a little child, she was demanding of attention, especially from her mother, Sarah. With two older brothers, Jennifer had a "special" place in the family as the baby and the only girl. How to Get a Grip on Your Money Most people have no idea where their money goes. They earn it and they spend it. Are You At The Point Of No Return? There is a point at which everything becomes simple and there is no longer any question of choice, because all you have staked will be lost if you look back. Life's point of no return. Whats in it for me if I Hire A Coach? 1. An unshakable foundation:Create and build your life from the ground up. Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast! When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too much attention on your self, too much focus on what you are doing and how you are doing it. And this is a formula for poor performance.
|
| home | site map |
| © 2006 |
